|
[07 Jul 2003|08:38pm] |
The years went by, and life went on.
The two story house on the beach had seen many comings and goings in that time.
On the day that Duo and Kenji were married, there was a huge party that lasted for days. Often, they would look back on the event as "The Day the Beachhouse Turned into A Harem."
Hilde became a millionaire, once Quatre got around to giving her that bottlecap that he found on Peacemillion II. Many man wanted to marry her afterwards.
Wufei was sometimes seen on the sand, practicing his kata in the dimming sunset.
Every summer, Noin would pack her bikini and lay out on the beach.
Relena came by whenever she had a chance, often bringing her paperwork and cellular phone so that she could still conduct business while drifting back and forth in a hammock.
Milliardo would sometimes come with his sister, often to just vegetate in front of the entertainment system.
Dorothy was coaxed into stopping by, and would sometimes eat at Quatre's restaurant and talk of the times.
There were places under the palm trees, where Trowa would seduce Quatre with kisses before leading him up the porch steps.
And sometimes, one would see the blonde man sitting in a lawn chair, and Heero would be sleeping with his head on Quatre's lap; his forgotten newspaper laying an inch away from his outstretched fingers.
When he was in his mid-thirties, Quatre found a wandering child around the home. She was an orphan, and her name was Mary. He formally adopted her within months.
On the morning when Mary called him "Dad" for the first time, he realized that he was very happy to be alive.
Whenever trouble arose in their world, he heeded the call and stayed strong.
Whenever life took a wrong turn, he was there. And he was still strong.
And on the day he died, he was an old man. Aged to the point that he needed a wheelchair just to get around. He was facing the ocean, and Heero was beside him, also aged and wiser. They both outlived everyone else, who had passed away over the years.
Their final conversation went something like this:
"You know. Back when Relena was being stalked, there was a letter delivered just after we ordered that pizza. Do you remember that?"
"Hn."
"Wufei and I suspected that the delivery boy was responsible, so we chased him down. Shot out his tires. Caused him to spin out. We pointed out guns at him and demanded that he confess."
"And?"
"He was totally innocent. We scared the living daylights out of that poor kid."
"... HAHAHAHAHAH"
"Heero, you still have the most disturbing laugh I've ever heard."
"...."
"... HAHAHHAHHAH"
"You're one to talk."
"My laugh is not as disturbing as yours."
"Did they ever find the stalker?"
"There never was a stalker, it was me. I was trying to get you to stick around more by staging the whole thing."
"You bastard."
"I thought I'd confess now, before we.. "
"...."
"Do you think death is really the end?"
"We'll find out."
".. If you were ever reborn, who would you be?"
"You."
"Me???"
"Who would you be?"
".. Your best friend."
"..."
"That pizza guy was really scared."
"..HAHAHAHAA."
"Heero your haha, laugh, haahahaha!"
"Yours is worse."
"Is not!"
"Hahahaha!"
"Hahahahaha!!"
They died laughing.
Invalid video URL.
A note to the next Quatre:
A few qualities you want to keep in mind when you RP him.
Quatre is: Kind, innocent but not naive, intelligent, genius, he's a strategist, he is the glue that keeps the pilots together. Quatre's weak point is his physical strength, but his mind and heart are beyond that of any other pilot. He's confident, he's humble, he's rich, and he's not afraid. He's regretful, he's sorrowful, he's a man that has his own shadows.
But most of all, remember that he is love.
Heart of Space.
Quatre Raberba Winner.
|
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| Not Afraid of Death. Not Afraid of Life. |
[06 Jul 2003|10:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 hopeful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Clear Blue Ocean Water |
] |
[[This entry is 6 months into the future.]]
I forgot I had this thing lying around. I was checking my computer before I packed it up, and remembered that I had this journal listed as my homepage.
It's been six months since the battle at Mars.
The planet was devastated from the explosion of the canon. If it weren't the Gundamium shelter shields of the colony domes, many more of it citizens would have died. The entire Mars Project itself has has been set back by a couple decades. I know it must make Relena sad, but I think it's for the best. Humans just aren't ready for that next step in evolution yet.
As for Sandrock, well, if it weren't for gundam, I don't think I would even be here. They told me that I was in pretty bad shape when they pulled me from the wreckage. If it weren't for the helmet and spacesuit that I wore, surely I'd have died from exposure. Sandrock itself was completely decimated. In the end, it still protected me. In a way, I feel as if it exhanged its life for my own, as strange as that sounds. For that, I will be forever grateful. I detonated the last of it's remains a few months ago. (after making EXTRA SURE that it was REALLY Sandrock this time)
How we survived is an incredible story. Our suits rode the crest of the explosion as if they were surfboards all the way back into space. Zero computed a one in a trillion chance of that ever happening. But clearly, in this universe, miracles happen. I am still shocked when I think about it.
I woke up after a two week long coma feeling as if I had just arose from a long, long dream. Since then, I've tried to heal, and I've done a lot of thinking. Three months ago, I started the process of dissolving my assets in WEI and cutting all ties from them. That's not who I want to be anymore. I'll find other ways to affect the world around me, but this time, it'll be on my own terms.
I want to live life like an ordinary person. A little struggle never hurt anybody. My sisters fought me every step of the way, but in the end, I have a bank account with a significant amount of money and zero obligations.
Well, maybe one or two, but I consider them to be more pleasures than obligations.
I've decided to open a restaurant. I don't have a name for it yet, but I know that it'll be a place where old soldiers can find respite. I know that this is a very uncharacteristic move on my part, but then, I think I woke up a different man after the war. So I've got my restaurant, and my next goal is to grow a beard. Just because I can. Or at least try to anyway.
What I have also done is buy a two story house in Costa Rica. It's oceanfront property, with a spectacular view of the water. I like it because it gives a feeling of solitude without being completely isolated from people. Just a few minutes away is a town where tourists gather and other people live.
This place was not bought just for me. For all of you, I have left a key in a safe deposit box in Switzerland -- you know, the usual place. Your names are all on the pink slip. I wanted this house.. this home.. to be for everyone. I'm not saying that we should all crowd in there and try living together. But I never want to hear from any of you that you are lost, because you most definetely have a home.
And if you do happen to use it, try to keep it clean, and remember to pay the phone bill if you happen to activate it. And please.. please.. leave a part of yourself behind for the next person to find when they go there.
I've already started to move some of my things here. I think I'll take a walk down the beach when I'm done.
You know..
Sometimes I think to myself, why did I try so hard? Why do I always risk everything in situations where it would be easier to just turn my back and let it all be?
And then the answer always comes as clear as rain.
Because I love them all.
This will be my last journal entry. I found what I was looking for in myself, and in my friends. I am ready to live this life. By the way, if anyone needs a job, I could use a couple bartenders, and maybe a waiter here and there. Temporary or part-time options available.
.. Why is my cup of tea leaking? I just bought this china yesterday.
... It's been sabatogued!!! But who would... the only person here right now is...
....
HEERO.
- Q. R. W.
|
|
| Battle Log 0003 |
[05 Jul 2003|09:22am] |
5 3 4 |2 [ |-| 1 |\| 6...
|\| 0 7 |= 0 |_| |\| |)
|\| 0 7 |= 0 |_| |\| |)
|\| 0 7 |= 0 |_| |\| |)
|\| 0 7 |= 0 |_| |\| |)
|\| 0 7 |= 0 |_| |\| |)
|\| 0 7 |= 0 |_| |\| |)
|\| 0 7 |= 0 |_| |\| |)
|\| 0 7 |= 0 |_| |\| |)
|
|
| Battle Log 0002 [Audio] |
[04 Jul 2003|11:14pm] |
Battle Time: 5hrs 32mins 24sec
Does anyone truely deserve forgiveness for the things they've done?
What human being can tell me that it's alright that I've destroyed colonies and countless innocent people with my own hands? Who can tell me that it's ok that I very nearly took Trowa's life, and intended to do the same for any of my friends who got in my way?
I have so many excuses. I can say I was influenced by Zero, or that I was so enraged by my father's death that the emotion drove me to want to hurt the people I wanted to protect the most. I can rationalize everything away, but in the end, its comes down to the fact that I did it.
Do murderers deserve forgiveness?
No human can forgive me. I can only walk the path of redemption, but even then, there is no guarantee that at the end of the road, there is forgiveness for me. But life is my only chance, because when I'm dead I won't be able to do anything about it. Every day that I hurt, I know it's the revenge of the souls I've taken. My suffering is their justice. I accept it placidly, because I deserve it.
The only thing I can do, is live a just life and hope that someday, they will be done taking their revenge. That maybe, I'll find my forgiveness in a sunset, or a child's smile. That one day, I'll wake up in the morning and realize that I am happy to be alive. I'll weather this path of redemption, and pray that someday a sign will finally come to me. When that happens, I will know for sure that I have been forgiven.
Am I wrong, Heero? Am I foolish after all?
Is there such a thing as one murderer deserving more forgiveness than another?
Did we doom ourselves from the first pull of the trigger?
Or is it because we are all imperfect, that we are allowed to try and correct our mistakes?
...
A failed experiment? Then I must be a monster.
...
Yes, I guess we both are.
|
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| Battle Log 0001 |
[04 Jul 2003|09:15am] |
|-| 3 4 |2 7
&
5 0 |_| 1
0 |=
5 |> 4 [ 3
0 |\| 3
[ 4 |\| |\| 0 7
3 >< 1 5 7
\|/ 1 7 |-| 0 |_| 7
7 |-| 3
0 7 |-| 3 |2
|
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| Countdown |
[03 Jul 2003|12:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blank |
] |
Zero System.
It bypasses the five human senses, and feeds information directly to the brain. It will formulate the most effective battle plan within milliseconds. It cuts back on reaction time until there is practically none. It eliminates doubt and fear. It will show you your enemy. And if you are not certain in your truth, then everyone in the world becomes your target. And if you can master this power, it will show you the future.
Unfortunately, the future that you see is not always that is pleasing to the heart.
We must not forget that the Zero System was created for battle. It is the ultimate killing machine. Zero only knows death as its ultimate truth. We must first understand our life before we can use the power of death in Zero. If we do not, then the results will be disasterous. There is an empty space in the quadrant 215 that is my own personal proof of that.
We face an army that is composed of a mixture of mobile doll and pilots using Zero. Pilots who have had absolutely no experience with its power. Humans who are likely to go completely mad within the first hour of battle.
This whole situation with Mars has been complete lunacy from the beginning. The Barton family is infamous for its history of mental illness which has spanned each of its generations. It's like a curse. They all hate the world and its people so much, that they become obsessed with destroying it, just so everyone can finally understand their feelings.
I can't help but feel sorry for them. To be so detached from life... Seivan's experiences must have been terrible. Then to attempt to commit this unforgivable act, I doubt that there will be any hope for forgiveness left, as there was for Milliardo.
It saddens me, Seivan. Because Zero says you have no future.
- Q. R. W.
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| [Private] |
[02 Jul 2003|10:13am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
((Can be seen by Quatre only.))
I finally told him, and in a way I pray that he could understand. I feel as if a great weight has been lifted from my chest.
I hope that when I gave him my most precious thing, he felt something beautiful.
- Q. R. W.
|
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| Mission Accomplished |
[01 Jul 2003|03:52am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sore |
] |
My team has captured Deimos thanks to Noin's backup.
Awaiting status of Phobos.
....
Something is very, very wrong. Painfully wrong.
I know I should stay until Sandrock is towed, but this feeling...
I'm borrowing a Taurus.
- Q. R. W.
|
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| Smoke Before Fire |
[30 Jun 2003|12:25am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 anxious |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Verniers being tested in the hanger |
] |
((Screened for Allies & Wufei))
We are making the first move. I've come up with an extremely risky plan, but I think it's the shot we've got under the circumstances. Mars has a very substantial natural defense: The Maracium ore on its surface is very old and decaying radioactively. Mars has a very thick composition of this substance, and its radiation disrupts the navigation of any ship daring to enter its airspace or the first 20,000 kilometers in the corona of the planet.
Our Gundams and mecha are not immune to this disruption. Howard keeps Peacemillion a substantial distance away from Mars for this purpose. We're slowly building a force to fight with, but it's all for nothing, because we cannot even navigate correctly in the vicinity of Mars. This makes it rather difficult to get close to the Hellas Canon.
Therefore, I've decided to approach the problem as if we were peeling an onion. We will grapple with the outer defenses first, and work our way in. The farther any suit is away from Mars, the easier it will be to maneuver it. Perhaps with only a minimal amount of deviance in the control, we can do this.
The first targets will be Phobos and Deimos. We have enough people to initiate a simultaneous strike against them both. About 28 hours from now, there will a Class C meteor storm falling to the planet Mars. Phobos and Deimos will be forced to do what they were originally supposed to: destroy as many meteorites as they can before they can impact the colony domes.
There will be two teams of ten people, one for each moon. We will disguise ourselves in the meteor storm in order to approach the defense fortresses. With most of the laser fire diverted to the falling space rocks, it leaves a larger chance for the rest of us to touch down on the surfaces of the moons. The mecha will be equipped with planet defensors to further boost this chance.
If we can capture even one fortress, it will help tremendously. We can use their canons to fire on the 1500 mobile dolls that may rise from the planet to protect the Hellas Canon. I doubt that both teams will make it, but if even one can punch through, that will be more than enough.
Trowa, Duo, Rashid, myself, and other maguanarcs have already volunteered. If Noin returns with help, perhaps some of the Preventers will be willing to join us as well. I am not going to force anyone to participate, because it's obvious that it's a suicide mission. Howard has made it more than clear that the Maracium interference could probably make us sitting ducks even if we do manage to get on those moons.
But I believe that we can do this.
If we can capture even one fortress, our prayers will be answered.
- Q. R. W.
|
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| Our Dream |
[29 Jun 2003|03:02am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 weird |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Stars are forever silent. |
] |
Relena, I wonder when it happened that your dreams became my dreams. I can't remember the instant when I stopped thinking of Mars as a planet, but a lonely planet. You had such a beautiful idea to turn this red, barren world into a place that people could call "home," and I leapt at the chance to use these hands to build instead of destroy.
We were so intent on breathing life into this alien soil, that we forgot to meet the needs of the people going there. There were other soldiers like myself who came because it gave them a chance to redeem a career of sin. However, there were others who were simply running from a changing Earth, and took refuge on our lonely Mars. Their bitterness tainted the innocence of the Mars Project.
Now, an alarming duality has risen among the populus, and the bitterness has turned into a rage as thick and red as the perpetual haze on the planet. We forgot them again. We forgot the forgotten soldiers. For you see, Relena, human hearts are very impatient. If they do not feel the push and pull of destiny, they do not truely believe that life has a meaning. Without the constant reminder of this evidence, they belive in the opposite. They believe that only death has meaning.
I've always been of the opinion that death is a great shackle on the soul. In life, we can cheat death many times. However, once you are dead, you cannot cheat life.
Sometimes, I wonder about it. When we die, our bodies break down into particles. These particles become the air we breath and the fuel we eat and the water we drink. Perhaps the dead are nothing but energy; fuel for the living. Perhaps everytime a beam weapon is activated, all those protons are actually shreds of souls long past. At times, I have nightmares about it. All of our weapons are tools of the lonely dead, seeking to become whole by extinguishing all life, so that we can all be together again in death.
But we all die eventually. The body has a natural timelimit. It is the fact that a timelimit exists which convinces me that we are put here for a reason. People say history repeats, but every time something is a little different in the cycle. Perhaps not a difference people can immediately see, but it's there. As I've said before, human hearts are very impatient. They refuse to wait to see what the stone pushed at the top of the hill becomes at the bottom.
Our fighting seems monotonous to us, but to the future generations, it will make all the difference. Something will change, but the change will be for them. New life will take our place. We will be a distant memory, but our actions will have reverbations in the history of time.
Maybe I have scared you a little, but don't be afraid. I don't think my time is up yet. I will continue to cheat death, because being alive gives me that power. Our dream will remain alive. Those angry souls on Mars will be taken care of. I will show them how my life trumps their death.
- Q. R. W.
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| Decision Made |
[27 Jun 2003|10:14am] |
| [ |
mood |
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exanimate |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
No music. Just stacks of papers and computer screens. |
] |
((Screened for Allies - Including Wufei))
Howard has done a thorough examination of the Hellas Impact Basin, or as we've taken to calling it around here, the Hellas Canon. It is powered by the planet core, and has the capability and range to destroy a colony from this distance. The only downside to it's sheer power and magnitude is the fact that it cannot be aimed, so they must wait for the planet to rotate into an optimal position for it's use. Howard has deduced that in a few days, it will be in a prime vector to hit Earth.
Chiriko managed to come across the manifest of the ship that we sabatogued. It turns out that they have legally been transporting neo-titanium to this particular drop point for the past two years. In that time, there has been enough metal deposited to account for a force of mobile suits 1000 - 1500 strong. The buyer's name: Seivan Barton.
The following is an itinerary of what we are up against:
Phobos Defense Shield
Deimos Defense Shield
Possible Mobile Doll Army of 1000 - 1500 suits
Epyon
A personalized force of upgraded Tauruses
Hellas Canon
Shelter Shields to protect said canon and colony domes.
The following is what we have to work with:
Peacemillion
Four Gundams
Whatever ammunitions & upgrades the Preventers can scrape up.
Obviously, a full frontal assault is lunacy. We will have to switch to guerilla tactics, something that we are all familiar with. There is only a limited amount of time to come up with a strategy to break past their defences and take out their primary weapon.
There are only six days.
- Q. R. W.
|
|
| Half Of the Puzzle |
[26 Jun 2003|03:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
blank |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Bridge Console Beeping |
] |
((Screened for Allies))
I don't think I've felt this grim since the war; particularly the part when the colonists withdrew their support of the Gundams and accepted Oz. Noin's secret transmission had all of us beyond speechless in the Peacemillion. I believe it was Howard who was able to sum everything up in one word.
Madness.
Duo has gone out in Deathscythe, and completed the mission. The cargo ship is in Hangar 4, and their crew has pretty much taken residence in one of the break rooms. We still do not know if they are a legal or illegal transport. Chiriko and the rest of Peacemillion's crew are searching the ship under the guise of "repairs." Deathscythe was not seen, so everything is going according to plan.
Noin will be boarding with us soon. We are now close enough to Mars to use long range sensors to take pictures of the surface. I've now seen the Hellas Basin with my own eyes, and now this feeling is sitting with me like a stone in my stomach. A canon of that size... God help us all.
- Q. R. W.
|
|
| Private Entry (again) |
[25 Jun 2003|03:31pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cynical |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Nothing |
] |
((Seen by Quatre only.))
Trowa memory seems to have returned. I thought he would be angry at me for the way that I've been treating him, but it turns out that he's actually pretty indifferent. On one hand, I should have been glad about that, but on the other, I guess I was kind of expecting more.
We're waiting for Noin's transmission, and for Peacemillion to advance a little further before sending out Deathscythe. I've been using all the downtime to think. About everything. When Wufei first mentioned the possibility of another uprising, it made me angry because this was not something I wanted to face. I had carefully rebuilt my life into what it is now for the past two years, and his news threatened to tear it all back down.
However, I've come to realize that I hate the life I've made for myself. Sure, I was doing good for the ESUN, but in the end, I've always been living for someone else and never for myself. When I was young, I was my father's son. Before I even finished growing, I was a Gundam Pilot. Then after the war, without missing a beat I was a politician and CEO of Winner Enterprises. I've always been going and going, and now that I've stopped, I realize that I am 18, and I have thrown away all my life for someone else's sake.
So now, thinking about Trowa, I wonder if I would be with him for him, or for myself. I am very tired of being chained by someone else's expectations. For once, I just want to be me. I want to be happy. Maybe being happy means being completely alone for me. I don't know.
The next few hours will decide everything, whether we fight or leave. If there even is an enemy, or if we're leaping at ghosts. Before, I was against it, but now I feel as if there is something that needs to be purged once and for all. An anger. A hidden anger in all of us. A rage because we have not found meaning in this life yet, despite how hard we all tried.
In trying to move fowards, we have looked back. But I believe that we have lingered on the past too much, because now we are too scared to see what's ahead. It can't go on like this. This is going to be the last time I will use Sandrock. The very last.
- Q. R. W.
|
|
| Anxiety |
[25 Jun 2003|11:18am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
anxious |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Myself Typing |
] |
((Allies Only))
After my conversation with Noin last night, I am extremely worried about her. Khushrenada has scheduled a tour of the Hellas Impact Basin for her, and what she's told me of it worries me beyond belief. I'm going to ask Howard if he can take a space to surface picture of that area using Peacemillion's sensors. I honestly believe that no further defense than Phobos and Deimos is needed for Mars. If the "Defense Shield" on Mars was for blasting meteorites out of the sky, it would make more sense to build it somewhere more mobile. Inside the Impact Basin, there's not too many places that they can aim their canons.
We are grasping at straws here. Mars simply has no significant weapons to speak of, at least not where we looked. So far, Noin's search has only unearthed a handful of upgraded Tauruses; hardly what one would call an offensive force. All signs point to the fact that Khushrenada was serious about keeping the peace of Mars.
But I feel like we are missing something very big. Like there's a massive blindspot on the radar. What haven't we done yet? If there really is an enemy, where is it? Mars is simply too big of a planet to search, and I'm starting to wonder if we've all cried wolf on this after all.
The results of our next move will determine whether I decide to call it quits or not on this. Howard has alerted us to an unusual drop point in Mars for Neo-titanium shipments. We are going to intercept their spacecraft before they can unload their cargo into the Martian atmosphere. Unfortunately, they are several hours ahead of us, so we have no choice but to dispatch Deathscythe after them. Hopefully, Duo can reach them before they approach Mars and disable their engines so that Peacemillion can make the approach. We want Deathscythe to remain cloaked so that no one will be alarmed by the sudden appearance of a Gundam after three years.
Hopefully, between the interrogation of that crew and Noin's exploration of the Hellas Basin, we will have our conclusion. For better, or for worse.
- Q. R. W.
|
|
| Private Entry |
[24 Jun 2003|07:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
quixotic |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
A song that moves souls.. |
] |
((This can only be seen by Quatre himself.))
When the airtanks reached zero, I felt the beginnings of panic fluttering inside. And out. No one spoke in fear of using up what precious oxygen was left. In the silence of my helmet, I stared straight ahead at the back of Duo's chair.
Then my body began to suffer from asphyxiation, and I gripped the armrests to keep from thrashing. My vision blurred, I was dizzy, I gaped for air despite the uselessness of it all. If it weren't for the restraints of the seat, perhaps I would have ran around the cabin in panic.
We were dying. I saw spots, and then my vision narrowed into nothing. We were dying. I felt as if I was drowning under and endless ocean. The pressure was all around me. I was falling, and I felt part of the reality around us snap. Kitty couldn't hold on any longer. She left, and her departure shattered me. I was in a million pieces. My body was falling apart.
Something was throbbing inside me, outside. It might have been my heart, but it felt more like space. I was with the universe, and my father was waiting for me. I wanted to go to him, to dive into that dark unknown behind him, but something held me back.
It was that light again. I saw it clearer than I had years ago. We were drawn to it, all of Us. I saw stars drifting to the Light, and I knew it was Me. I and Them, We were coming back, because the Light grounded us. The same way it always had ever since We first touched It.
I flew into it, and the shattered pieces of Myself mended in a flash of pain. I awoke on my back in Peacemillion's hanger.
A steady, drumming beat.
Ba dum. Ba dum.
Was it me?
Or...
Was it him?
- Q. R. W.
|
|
| Impossible Scenarios |
[22 Jun 2003|11:50pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
frustrated |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Wind Buffeting the Sides of the Landmaster |
] |
((Quatre's allies -- including the three knuckleheads in the Landmaster))
Right now, I am stuck in a Landmaster with the three most stubborn men on Mars. Kenji appears to be sketching something, Duo is driving and cursing the entire way, and Heero is steadily ignoring us all. We're on our way to the spaceport, but we're being held up a bit by a massive sandstorm. The winds must be a least 50 mph, and the only thing keeping this vehicle from tipping over is its sheer girth and heavy armor.
My hats off to the people determined to colonize Mars. It takes a lot of guts to try and live through something like this daily.
We left the apartment maybe two and a half hours ago, and it was very difficult to do at that. The building was being watched, and I INSIST that our disguises would have enabled us to walk off without detection. But no, Heero had to run outside and draw their fire, which was absolutely unnecessary. We still managed to escape, but now I wonder how we will fare in the spaceport. If we even get there at all.
I would like all of us to get off this planet, but one member in this group insists on sacrificing himself everytime the opportunity shows up. While the thought is endearing in a twisted way, if there is an opportunity for everyone to make it out alive, I think we should take it. There is no reason for one of us to be shafted every single time. I don't care if it's "optimal," no one should be labeled as expendable!
But of course, no matter what I say, it won't change the way he is. There is a thin line between self-sacrificing and just plain being suicidal. I can't stop his actions, but what worries me more is their origin. Has life been that unkind? Do you really believe that you are that alone? Are you still looking for worth that badly? There is something I need to tell you, but I can never give you words, because they mean nothing to you.
I know talking at him is pointless, so I'm writing it all in my journal. There are a lot of negative emotions compacted in this small space, and it's making my skin crawl. I really wish Duo wouldn't continue to be so upset over this morning. It seems that he can play jokes on everyone else without a care for their feelings, but if they're turned on himself the whole world crashes. Honestly.
Kenji is proving to be a very useful ally. He's given us weapons that we may need in the future, should we ever need to do another mission on Mars. I'm already beginning to loathe this planet.
Oh great, the radar just picked up a second blip. Please tell me we're not being followed.
- Q. R. W.
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| Moving Out |
[21 Jun 2003|10:37pm] |
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Everyone Trying on the.... Clothes |
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((Screened for Quatre's allies only))
After our third skirmish with the Martian Mafia, I am convinced that we need to get off this planet. We simply do not have enough ammunition, and no where to hide. These people know every last inch of the domes, and it's only a matter of time before they smoke us out. Again.
I thought we would have more time than this, but it's been shortened considerably. I did not expect Kenji to be some type of.. slave to these people, or the fact that he had a tracer embedded in his body. After a bloody removal, I disposed of it on a wandering dog to keep our enemies off our trail. Or at least it would have, if Kenji hadn't taken it back. Even though it was deactivated, it alerted the Liberation Army to the fact that something was going on faster than it should have.
I'm sure his loyalties are lie away from them now, but I really wish he had made up his mind before he swiped the bug back off the dog. The damage is done though, and there's nothing we can do about it. They tracked down the apartment we were staying in, and to make a long story short, Kenji and Duo got away. I didn't.
At the very least, I had hoped that they would take me to this Seivan. But no, all I was treated to was a shadowy figure on a vidscreen while I was kicked around by the men in black suits. It can not get any more cliché than this. Apparently, he's pretty high up on the chain of command, or at least that was the impression I got from my captors.
The man is insane. There is no doubt about it. His emotions shifted faster than I could blink my eyes. He staged this fiasco in the fight club just for his entertainment. In the end, he intended to kill us all, regardless of the outcome. Pitting them against each other like that... Heero and Kenji.... he was disappointed he couldn't get Duo to do it. If Heero hadn't come..
But it's better if I don't dwell on that right now. We've picked a new place in the colony domes, but there is no way we'll be secure for longer than 24 hours. We need to get out, but they know our faces and Heero is still unconscious. Duo and Kenji went out to acquire disguises, at least until we're safely out of Mars. What they came back with though...
Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if Heero woke up and tried to strangle them all.
I believe that we have done everything we can on Mars. I've gathered as much information as I can, and all I've learned is that beyond the mobile suits Dorothy has in her possession, there are no other weapons. At least, not in the Colony Domes or the Entertainment District. This worries me, because Mars is a big planet. How in the world are the Preventers going to comb it all? They can be hiding anything anywhere. Or maybe Dorothy has the only supply. If that's true, this can be over very fast. Maybe we won't need Gundams after all.
There's one thing that's been bothering me though. If Treize Khushrenada is in on this uprising, it really does not fit his style. A mobile doll was used to attack Sanc Palace, and he abhorred those things. If he was really going to start a full scale war against the ESUN, he would have said something by now. He wouldn't attack someone who was completely defenseless. He would leak information, and give Earth and the Colonies time to build a force, so that everyone will go fighting. Isn't that the "purity" he has always seeked in his philosophies?
Which brings me down to these guesses.
Khushrenada in actuality has nothing to do with the Mars Liberation Army.
We have overestimated the threat, and it is only a handful of trained inviduals capable of attacking outside of Mars.
There are other interstellar weapons hidden somewhere on the planet, besides the ones Dorothy is hoarding.
Khushrenada may not the man we think he is.
Who knows if I'm totally off target. There is just one thing that's starting to become clear to me. If there was an intentional war being started, it's not against the ESUN. No, this is a war against Gundam Pilots. We will be the ones expected to defend against an Epyon or Wing Zero. We'll be the only things standing between the domination of Earth and space. Yet we still don't even know their damn motives.
In any case, there's only two beds, and I am tired beyond belief. I'm taking my meds and sharing Heero's. Not with Duo because he glomps in his sleep, and not Kenji because he cries fag if you so much as breathe in his direction. Wake me in a few hours. Preferably not with Kenji's screaming.
- Q. R. W.
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shocked